Wednesday, December 15, 2010

how to be the perfect girlfriend

How to be the perfect girlfriend. Since man ran naked on the veldt he has changed very little. Sure, he's harnessed fire, built the pyramids, and walked on the moon, but he's still a caveman at heart. His needs haven't really changed for thousands of years: food, beer, women. But how is this compatible with your sophisticated, modern life? It isn't! But it can be. With just a few simple tips you can be the perfect girlfriend, which should make him want to be the perfect boyfriend.
Step 1Relax your standards
The perfect girlfriend is not a plastic doll. While you should endeavour to maintain your femininity, once in a while let your guard down: eat like a pig, slouch around, or leave the washing up. You can even surprise him be getting him to pull your finger. This way he will feel comfortable in your presence, and you in his.
Step 2But make an effortWith this in mind, remember that it is important to make an effort and sometimes dress up special. We know it's not practical all the time, but he'll appreciate it, and you'll feel more attractive.
Step 3Massage his ego
Remember that the male ego is as fragile as it was all those years ago when he first lost his way back to the cave. Make your boyfriend feel good about himself - even if he is getting in your way- let him be useful and tell him he's great. Don't nag him into submission, as there is nothing sexy about a downtrodden man. You know the bed's not made properly, but congratulate him on having a go. You know that isn't an omelette, but it contains eggs doesn't it? So well done him!
Step 4Feed him
Like it or not, the old adage is true - the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. You don't have to cook, but keep your local takeaway on speed dial. Remember if your boyfriend is hungry, his attention will shift suddenly from you to the fridge. Don't take it personally, it's primal. Symptoms of hunger to look out for include: grumpiness, slightly flared nostrils or he may appear to be hunting. If he gets like this, don't suggest salad.
Step 5
Give him space
A man's friends are important to him, and so is his ability to spend time with them, where he will do male activities like growling, fighting and measuring things, simple pursuits that confuse a complex female mind. Allow him the space to maintain these relationships. Let him roam, and when he comes home he'll be ready to spend quality time with you.
Step 6Listen to him
Men enjoy explaining things. Be it the mechanics of bridges, why Sean Connery's the best Bond, or the complexities of the offside rule, even if he's being patronising allow him his airtime, and he will then shut up, leaving you to enjoy the peace and quiet of a loving and giving relationship.
Step 7
In the bedroom
When it comes to bedtime and matters of the night, your needs may be different. Sex is a simple matter for him: he wants it, whenever, wherever. Never put out if you aren't in the mood, but do accept he always will be, and don't tell him off because he finds you devastatingly attractive all of the time. And if you really don't fancy it, just distract him with beer.
Done? Have fun with your boyfriend!

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